Trap Door

Throw-Away Society

2012-01-09T17:10:00.000-05:00

I truly believe we live in a throw-away society. You don't repair anything anymore, you just replace it. I am as guilty as the next one. Look at printers. It is cheaper to buy a new printer than new ink cartridges in many cases. Computers aren't much different. I bought a new laptop in June 2010 and it is already so antiquated, if it broke, I would probably just buy a new one. I often wonder about reconditioned laptops or reconditioned cameras. Do they work as well? Do they last as long? Considering the cost of new and our frequency in replacing, it is something to consider.

Cheeseburgers in Stars Hollow

2012-01-07T19:07:00.002-05:00

I tried a new recipe today from The Pioneer Woman's website. I believe this might be the first one for me. There are many sites and bloggers out there who make fun of the redhead and granted, she makes it pretty easy. But I find her more interesting than say, Paula Deen?

Gasp! Yes, I said it. I am not a Paula Deen fan. If that causes you to quit reading. Well, I am sorry. Take care, and have a great life.

If you are still here, thanks for sticking around.

Okay, back to the redhead on the range's recipe. Cheeseburger Salad.

And it was good.

I made it exactly to the recipe. Are you shocked? I know I typically tweak and alter based on my tastes or ingredients on hand, but this time - true to the letter. I meant to tweak it. I meant to add bacon - because, well do I really need to explain why? Everything is better with bacon. But I forgot the bacon because I was watching The Gilmore Girls rerun and it was the one where Rory took her grandmother to the Independence Inn and showed her the potting shed and Emily Gilmore ran away in shock. I love the Gilmore Girls. Sigh. I wish they would come back.

Here is a little bit of trivia for you. Did you know the house exterior of the old Dragonfly Inn is actually the exterior used for the house on The Waltons? It was dismantled from its original lot location that was used when filming the Waltons, and was placed on another set for Gilmore Girls. Isn't that cool?

Where was I? Oh yes, I forgot the bacon. So sue me.

I also burnt the first batch of melted butter because it was when Emily and Lorelai were yelling at each other about the new and "much better than the potting shed" room she created for Rory. Ah family drama. It reaches across all socio-economic boundaries.

German Pancake Breakfast

2012-01-07T11:19:00.001-05:00

I realize I haven't posted much about food lately. I really did bake some over the holidays but I failed to photograph or write about it. My bad.

This morning I made Mini German Pancakes from this recipe. Now, the dangers in giving you the link for what I based my dish on is that you get to see how mine looks nothing like theirs. Whatever!

Let me start by saying I halved the recipe and ended up with 11 pancakes. They are thin, like a crepe. Basically, they are a puffy crepe. So 3-4 per person is a good serving portion.

Let me also confess my mistake. I melted the butter in the microwave but forgot to add it to the batter. I found it about 4 minutes into the baking time. So I spooned melted butter on top. I figured what the hell, how could something be ruined with melted butter on it? Seriously, what isn't better with butter?

I think the only problem that caused was they stuck a little, despite me spraying the hell out of the muffin tins, and they were a little mis-shapened because they had started to poof when I poured the butter on.

The sauce I made from scratch and in my head. I had some frozen blackberries (thanks Mom) so I nuked them and started them cooking with some sugar, salt and tangerine zest/juice. My only mistake here was I should have pureed and strained the seeds before it got so thick. I waited too long and the sauce was nice and thick so getting the seeds out was a pain in the you know what. I hate seeds in my fruit sauces.

But it tasted freakin' fantastic! Seriously, I am going to do this again and use it for ice cream, cheesecakes - you just never know where it will show up again.

In the end, both of our plates were wiped clean and the salty bacon I served with it was a nice contrast. I will definitely do this again.

Knock on Wood

2012-01-06T16:48:00.001-05:00

My mother is very superstitious. We weren't allowed to walk around the opposite side of a post, column or obstruction if we were walking down the street or sidewalk because apparently that meant we would argue. So that is the reason.

Obviously we couldn't walk under a ladder and if you opened a pocket knife, you had to be the one to close it or someone would get cut. You are dealing with a knife, the odds are already in your favor that someone would get cut.

If your ear itched, someone was talking about you. If your palm itched, you were going to get money. If your nose itched, you were going to have company. Right.

If you said something you didn't want to happen, you knocked on wood. If she couldn't find anything wooden within reach, she would use her head, or ours. That explains a lot.

So in the spirit of knocking on wood, I'd like to say that without much effort and probably due to a change in medicine, I have lost ~~15 lbs~~ 18.5 (I weighed today) in the past three months. I hope this continues, especially the part about not much effort. But now that I have spoken (written) about it....I might get cut, no wait, I might have money coming out of my nose from company.

The To Do List Final Results

2012-01-04T12:19:00.001-05:00

Of my list, this is what actually got done while I was off for the holidays.

~~Get a haircut~~
~~Bake Christmas goodies~~
~~Clean out closet~~
~~Organize shoes and purses~~
Read at least one book.(I started one)
Finish editing my book.(I added 2,000 more words)
~~Go to Jungle Jim's in Cincinnati with my Mom and sister.~~
Put a jigsaw puzzle together.(good winter fun)
Go to the dog park.(my bad)
~~Clean out/organize kitchen desk area.~~
~~Go to Tickled Pink Memorabilia Mall.~~
Organize pantry.
~~Imbibe, maybe a lot~~
~~Create something in my project room.~~

Not too bad.

Are They Made of Elephants?

2012-01-03T19:28:00.000-05:00

Maybe it is because today was my first day at work in 17 days? Or maybe it was because today was very cold and my brain has basically been frozen with little to no activity? Either way, I found myself watching television blindly and wondering....if a memory foam mattress really remembers so much, wouldn't you never need to buy another mattress - like ever? Is that really a good marketing plan?

What Would Shakespeare Do?

2011-12-26T22:04:00.000-05:00

More musings from my co-worker/friend/genius:

Did you know that, of the 17,000+ words William Shakespeare used, over 1,700 are documented for the first time in his writing. Maybe they were in everyday unrecorded oral use, or maybe he made them up because they sounded cool. So the next time you’re working on your hixby gommelting, don’t be timid. Make up a word just because you like the way it bloghers.

Did you know that several people here in the building participated in National Novel Writing Month in November? Each of them wrote a complete novel during the month of November. If I had their permission, I’d tell you who they were, but it’ll be more fun if you walk up to everyone you see today and ask them about NaNoWriMo. If they give you a blank stare or ask you if you’re having a stroke, they are probably not one of the writers. Once you find one of the intrepid writers in our midst, ask them if they made up a new word in their chomona. If they didn’t give them a bracelet with W.W.S.D.? on it (what would Shakespeare do) and castigate them (which was one of Bill’s made-up words).

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T21:57:00.002-05:00

To all my blogger friends, I wish you a very Merry Christmas. Here is hoping your holidays are full of eggnog, friends, rum, family, more rum, good food, good wine, rest and joy (which will be much more likely with the rum).

We spent Christmas Eve with the in-laws and here is a snippet of a conversation that repeated itself no less than ten times in one hour. Let me set the stage for you....my mother-in-law is mid-level Alzheimer's and ADD, my father-in-law has had his knee joint removed after numerous knee replacements that went bad, so he is fairly immobile, my sister-in-law and her two kids (9 and 11) live with them (in the basement). It was all of them and the two of us.

David brought his mother a bouquet of roses for Christmas. The second he hit the door, she started crying.

"I can't believe you brought me these beautiful flowers." She cried and cried. Then she set them in the middle of the coffee table. Every five to ten minutes....

"Oh my god, those are beautiful flowers. Where did they come from?"
"They are from David and Melody, Mom." (someone would say).

The crying starts again.

Two minutes later, "I can't see shit with those damn flowers in my way."

"Well, let's move them..."

"Where did they come from?"

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I also noticed that her language has gotten even worse, if that is possible. Few sentences were said without a curse word and or inappropriate references. Fortunately, his family are slightly bawdy anyway so you either ignore it or laugh at it.

We are thankful she still knows who we are and can take care of herself, somewhat.

When we left, we both agreed that his sister deserves a sympathy card.

To Dos, not Ta Das

2011-12-09T12:23:00.005-05:00

I have one more week of work left and then I am off until January 3, 2012. That is exactly seventeen days off in a row. Pretty cool.

However, I tend to get bored without things to do. So I am making a "To Do" list full of fun and practical things I need or want to do. Let's see how many I actually accomplished come next year.

~~Get a haircut~~
~~Bake Christmas goodies~~
Clean out closet
Organize shoes and purses
~~Read at least one book.~~
Finish editing my book.
Go to Jungle Jim's in Cincinnati with my Mom and sister.
Put a jigsaw puzzle together.
Go to the dog park.
~~Clean out/organize kitchen desk area.~~
Go to Tickled Pink Memorabilia Mall.
Organize pantry.
~~Imbibe, maybe a lot~~
~~Create something in my project room.~~

Evaluation for Physicians

2011-12-07T12:58:00.000-05:00

I get why physicians have to carry such high malpractice insurance. People expect them to be psychic and the slightest error is reason to sue these days. However, on the other side of that coin are the physicians and caregivers that should never be given license to practice. For example, the quack that failed my mother and is the catalyst for her present condition and prognosis.

I think there should be some sort of patient review process that is required to renew their license to practice. In our positions, we are reviewed annually on the service we provide. Why should they be any different?

You Will Dream of Mimes Now, I did.

2011-12-06T19:11:00.000-05:00

You really wish you knew this guy, don't you?

Another day in history with only war, murder, and general pestilence. Nothing I can really poke fun at in good taste (or even what I consider reasonably good taste). Instead, let me share a News of the Weird article with you:

In October, about 120 professional mimes began voluntarily patrolling the traffic-congested Sucre district of Caracas, Venezuela, at the request of Mayor Carlos Ocariz. The white-gloved mimes' specialty was wagging their fingers at scofflaw motorists and pedestrians, and mimes interviewed by the Associated Press reported improvements.

There is so much wrong with this article. First, “professional” mimes. Really? Professional implies that they are paid. Let me get this straight, there are 120 mimes in Caracas who are earning a living pretending to struggle to walk against a strong wind, play tug or war, or be trapped inside a box? Ever the skeptic, I remain unconvinced by this dubious claim. Second, if wagging a finger is all it takes to stop crime, they should get about a million grandmothers out on the streets immediately. My grandmother could easily control me with a wag of her finger and a quiet “shush” (a value added embellishment not available to a mime), but I doubt it would have been as effective with your average scofflaw—and my Mamaw was a big girl, not some skinny, sad looking mime with a white face. Third, how does one interview a mime? How would they report that there were improvements? Maybe they progressively walked faster in the imaginary wind storm or some crazy artsy-fartsy crap like that. And finally, if a tree falls on a mime in a forest, does anyone care?

Anyone else remember Shields & Yarnell from the 1970’s. Two mimes, a married couple, with a prime-time variety show. I think there were about 6 episodes. Not a whole lot you can do with mimes after you exhaust the aforementioned wind walking and trapped in a box shtick. Someone at a network must have been high when they thought that up. No rerun syndication for that odd little footnote in TV history.

Daily Demotivator: No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you’ve probably only seen the tip of them.

Shopping Mania

2011-12-06T17:51:00.000-05:00

I could not believe how busy Target was today - a Tuesday - at 1:30 in the afternoon. Why are all those people not at work?
Why was I not at work you ask? Because I took the afternoon off, but did everybody else do the same thing? I know I am a trendsetter and all, but jeez.
I stood in line so long I was beginning to wish I was wearing an adult diaper. Maybe that astronaut psycho lady had a good idea after all.

Unfortunately, diapers wouldn't fix the crabby people. I find older women to be the worst. Is that what I have to look forward to?

Words of Wit and Wisdom

2011-12-06T14:49:00.000-05:00

More musings from my co-worker:

On this day in 1683 the first Mennonites arrive in America. The Mennonites, members of a Protestant sect founded by Menno Simons in the 16th century, were widely persecuted in Europe. Seeking religious freedom, Mennonite Francis Daniel Pastorious led a group from Krefeld, Germany, to Pennsylvania in 1683 and founded Germantown, the pioneer German settlement in America and now part of the city of Philadelphia.

Did you ever notice the plethora of religious groups who came to America seeking religious freedom (or as I like to think of it, the freedom to persecute other religious groups who don’t agree with you)? Contrast that with Australia which was settled by convicts, ladies of negotiable affection, and other rapscallions.

Maybe if we’d had a few more shady characters emigrating to America we’d be more inclined to wear bush hats, drink Foster’s beer, and throw another shrimp on the Barbie, you know, have a certain joie de vivre. Instead Americans get all in a titter over whether or not someone else is having more fun than they are—then they call those people sinners and let them know they are wholly “other” than the righteous folk. I think Billy Joel summed it up pretty well, “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun”. Unless you’re lucky and those sinners are your family of choice in your own faith community, trying to figure out what it means to be a saint in the 21^st century, making their way in a world filled with a whole lot more shades of gray than stark black and white, and learning to love the questions together. That can be pretty fun too.

Little known fact of the day: At the last supper, Jesus was billed an 18% gratuity because his party included six or more people.

[No Words Can Be Found]

2011-12-05T15:00:00.000-05:00

I know I sound like my grandmother or my father-in-law when I whine about the quality of goods being manufactured these days, but seriously folks? We live in such a disposable and wasteful society, and it makes me sad. Very sad.

I wonder if there are quality assurance director jobs anymore, anywhere. Have we outsourced that too? Or just eliminated it altogether?

I am alive.

2011-12-05T14:52:00.000-05:00

I know I have been absent in the blog world, but I have been busy. Really busy.

A friend talked me into doing the National Novel Writing Month this November. I have no idea what the hell I was thinking. December 1st was this huge staff event that I am responsible for and takes up the previous 8-12 weeks of my life. So why would I choose to spend every spare minute writing my first book? Because I am an idiot.

But I finished!!!!

Tis the Season

2011-12-05T14:49:00.000-05:00

I confess. I have yet to purchase one Christmas gift. I did put up a Christmas tree this year and started baking some goodies, but I haven't gotten into the whole commercial shopping scene.

I am not placing judgement on those who have purchased gifts, I'm just not into it this year. I am thinking about making my gifts this year. Of course that means I need to get busy. Maybe I should look for some walmart or kmart coupons after all.

Money Pit

2011-11-04T11:18:00.000-04:00

Our home came with a hot tub when we bought it 4 1/2 years ago. We were excited about the idea of a hot tub but it has become a hassle and huge money pit. Every year there is another new part needed that cost $400-500. Every year we have that conversation about whether this is when we quit throwing money towards it. Recently the pump quit and so the conversation happened again. I don't know how much hassle a pool is but I can't imagine it being worse than a hot tub. The parts can't be any more expensive, pool heat pumps are probably the same thing and cost as much as a hot tub heat pump.

What to do, what to do?

Lunch Lady Favorites

2011-10-23T18:15:00.000-04:00

For the past week I have been craving homemade tomato soup. It is probably the weather and the onset of falling leaves and crisp mornings, but like in the past when I have a craving - it needs to be met. Now.

So here is my tomato soup. I never follow a recipe, but it is pretty similar each time.

Start with some olive oil and red onions. Sweat the onions with a little salt and then add some diced garlic. Saute for another minute or two.

Add 1 1/2 c. chicken brother to deglaze the bottom.

I need to say at this point that I am not a real brand-loyal person for the most part. There are a few exceptions and canned tomatoes is one. If I am making chili, I will use Red Gold or whatever is on sale. If I am making marinara, soup, etc. and it isn't tomato season to use good, sweet, fresh ones - I use San Marzano. I guess it really isn't a brand, but a type. Either way, I am loyal.

When I make soup, I make enough for a couple meals. So I use two 28 oz. cans of tomatoes and one jar of roasted red bell peppers (if I don't have any fresh ones I can roast myself, which is always preferred).

Then I add 2 T sugar and 2 T. Italian seasoning. If it is summer and I have an herb garden I would add fresh at the end, but I'd still add dry during the simmering part. Remember, dry early - fresh late.

Then let this simmer for at least an hour. Mine simmered today for about 4 1/2.

When you are ready to serve, the soup needs pureed. You can use a blender or a food processor, or like me, use an immersion blender. Mix until smooth. Then I add about a cup of 1/2 and 1/2 and 2 T. goat cheese. If you didn't have goat cheese, cream cheese would work, but I like the nuttiness and sharpness of goat cheese.

You can serve it and slurp it down at this point. But you know I don't leave well enough alone. I like to garnish with a few drops of good balsamic vinegar and a little more 1/2 and 1/2. The key here is GOOD balsamic.

I buy two kinds of balsamic. The first is mid-range priced and I use it for sauces, dressings, marinades, etc. The other is upper-range (as high as I can afford at the time). This is the GOOD stuff. Thick, dark and rich like molasses. This is what I put on my soup.

It is common to serve grilled cheese with tomato soup. The cafeteria lunch lady can't be wrong. But what about serving grilled cheese croutons IN your soup?

Usually my grilled cheese sandwich is one of the few times I actually use american cheese. It melts very creamy and makes a great sandwich. However, for this purpose I'd like the cheese to be a little firmer, so I used a cheddar/colby mix. Then I just cut it into squares and topped the soup.

Perfect for a cool, wet Sunday afternoon, or anytime.

Caramely Goodness

2011-10-21T22:46:00.000-04:00

So good you'll slap your mama and your eyes will roll back in your head.

Dead. Serious.

I found this recipe on Pinterest. I am telling you people, if you haven't visited this AMAZING site yet - well, I don't think we can't be friends anymore.

Flip or Flop

2011-10-17T13:39:00.000-04:00

I have had a flip camera for several years now and I like the convenience but I wish I had more control over focus, etc. Every time I think I am going to research a more advanced digital camera, I get lost in the rabbit hole that is "click here for compact digital cameras" on various sites. I just wish I could find a resource that gave unbiased information in a less technical manner. User information, not engineer information.

Inspiration

2011-10-16T21:28:00.000-04:00

I have completed yet another project inspired by Pinterest. If you haven't taken time to check this site out, I have to question your priorities. Just sayin'.

This was easy but I like the results.

Crayons + hot glue + canvas board + heat = cool.

Pies, Cakes and Ice Cream, Oh My

2011-10-16T11:33:00.001-04:00

I can't remember the last time I needed to order a birthday cake, but I do know that the days of Wal-mart cakes are way behind me. I certainly prefer to make my own from scratch, but there are a few exceptions. Here in Louisville, there is an amazing place called the Homemade Pie Kitchen or as we refer to it - the pie shop. Besides awesome homemade pies (my favorite is Caramel Apple) and homemade ice cream, they make some amazing cakes, my favorite being Strawberry.

What is your favorite place to buy a cake and what kind?

Creative Tip #10,349

2011-10-16T09:27:00.000-04:00

Okay, I know I might be exaggerating a tad, but this tip is worth saving.

I made these cute little mini pumpkin pies. Standard recipe, nothing fancy here. Why fix something that isn't broke? But instead of cutting out circles for the crust, I used a flower cookie cutter and it gave me a nice scalloped edge, but best of all - no folds or wrinkles in the crust.

It really is the simple things in life.

My Struggle

2011-10-15T12:46:00.000-04:00

When I get invited to attend a party or event where I need to take a dish, I panic a little. I know that sounds odd, but I feel like I've cooked so many different things I should take something great -- but what? I can't just show up with a veggie tray. People expect more. I expect more.

I love to cook. I love to experiment. I love parties. Why should this bother me so?

Moment of Inspiration

2011-10-02T16:55:00.000-04:00

I had an epiphany. No solution to the energy crisis here or path to world peace, but I like it when pieces of my life come together and make sense.

I have been craving cinnamon rolls. You already know this if you follow me on Facebook or work with me (yes, I am referring to you). The craving didn't pass in a few days so I had to do something about it. I starting perusing cinnamon roll recipes when I recognized a common denominator. The dough recipes were all very similar to my mother's yeast roll recipe I use at every holiday. Its official name is Golden Cake Bread and was a $250,000 Pillsbury recipe sometime in the 50's. I know why. It really is that good.

So I made cinnamon rolls using the yeast roll recipe for the dough and filled them with all things good - butter, walnuts, cinnamon, sugar, and more butter.

I let the dough raise twice and then rolled the dough out and filled it, sliced and loaded them into 2 - 9x13 pans. Covered them with plastic and put in frig. This morning when my husband got up at the crack of dawn, he found a note on the refrigerator that asked him every so sweetly to set rolls out on the counter. Okay, it wasn't really sweet, it just said "put rolls on counter". But he knew what his reward would be so he followed directions. Sometimes he does this. Sometimes he doesn't.

Then brush with butter, again.
Put in refrigerator overnight, or you can let them raise at this point. I let them raise in the morning for a couple hours and then baked at 350 for about 25 mins.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

These were so yummy topped with cream cheese icing while they were still warm so it melted and got all gooey. It makes a lot of rolls. So I packed up some for my friend Kat, who just became a first time grandma this weekend and some for my friend Charlotte who was lending me some tables for my rummage sale. Charlotte adopted Toby last year so as a bonus, we got to love on him when we picked up tables and dropped off rolls. AND being the wonderful person she is, she sent me home some Lemon Blossoms of which I've never had before but fell in immediately love with. It is like a pastry swap - OMG! Wouldn't that be a fantastic thing?

---------------------------------

Golden Cake Bread

1 package Active Dry Yeast
1/4 cup warm water
1 t. sugar

1 cup hot scalded milk
1 cup butter or margarine
1/2 cup sugar

2 slightly beaten eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 teaspoon salt

4 to 4 1/2 cups flour

In a small bowl or measuring cup, proof the yeast in the warm water and sugar.

Combine the milk, butter and sugar in a large bowl and allow to cool to lukewarm.

Stir in 2 slightly beaten eggs, the vanilla, salt and yeast mixture.

Gradually add the flour to form a stiff batter, beating well after each addition. Cover and allow to rise in a warm place until light and doubled in size, about 1 hour.

Beat down the dough and let it rise again until doubled in size, about 3/4 hour.

Divide the dough into rolls and put in well greased 9x13 inch pan. Let rise in warm place, about 3/4 hour.

Bake in a 350*F oven 25 to 30 minutes until golden brown.

Num Num Num

2011-10-01T16:31:00.000-04:00

That is pretty much the sound you could hear coming from our living room this evening as we devoured our pot stickers and rice. Sounds fairly boring, hey?

Not at all.

Consider this an unpaid endorsement for the rice cooker. It really does make a difference. It is that fuzzy logic at work (whatever the hell that is). Damn Japanese. Too smart for their own good.

This rice was just what I had in the house, like most times, and it turned out awesome.

Jasmine rice
chicken broth
minced ginger
honey
salt
pepper
tumeric
dried cherries
toasted slivered almonds

The pot stickers were courtesy of Costco. But I really love them 'em. They are easy to cook - 10 minutes and you are done.

Lasagna Cups

2011-10-01T08:25:00.000-04:00

I LOVE THIS!

You will never make regular lasagna again.

Run over to Kevin & Amanda's Blog and get the recipe....now!

Breakfast of Champions?

2011-09-30T20:22:00.001-04:00

My husband doesn't like omelets, but he loves fritatas. What the hell is the difference? I think he is just being picky with the mission to drive me crazy. Nothing new.

So our breakfast started with thinly sliced yukon gold potatoes sauteing in the skillet with some olive oil. One layer of potatoes covering the bottom of the skillet.

Mix 6 eggs (I have eggs I need to use) with some 1/2-1/2, chopped basil, salt and pepper. When your potatoes have slightly browned edges, pour your eggs over the potatoes, sprinkle some shredded cheese (your choice, we used colby) over the eggs, lower your heat and cover for several minutes until the eggs are done to your liking. Me? Done. Dead. No wobbly gook.

Top with sliced tomatoes. I used our very last fresh tomato from the upside down hanging planter for the season. It was deep red and meaty.

Carefully slide/guide the fritata out of the skillet onto a plate.

Now is the time you decide whether to share or not. I won't judge you.

Project Completed

2011-09-24T16:48:00.001-04:00

I used to be quite crafty, artsy-fartsy, whatever you want to call it. But life, work, dogs, and whatever has taken my attention in the past few years. I realized this when I discovered Pinterest. I immediately felt that tug to go create something, no matter how minuscule or slight.

I did it!

My husband put the planks together for me and over the past two weekends I have sanded, painted, sanded and stenciled.

I am very happy with the end result.

Now, what's next?

Christmas Dessert Party - Want to come?

2011-09-23T12:31:00.000-04:00

I have always wanted to have a Christmas Dessert Party with a table scape that looked like it came straight from Fantasia or Willy Wonka.

I am going to do it this year. You are all invited.

It is photos like these that motivate me.

Gold Walls, Bart Simpson, and Eggs in My Head

2011-09-22T13:30:00.000-04:00

Musing from my genius co-worker:

On this day in 1554 - Francisco Vásquez Coronado dies without finding the fabled city of gold. This poor guy, along with 300 soldiers and 800 indigenous "volunteers", traipsed across what is now New Mexico, Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, and even into Kansas looking for a city with walls made of pure gold. He never found anything except some adobe huts. City walls are typically built for fortification and need to be really solid, right? Didn't they have engineers in 1554? I'm no expert (as if that's ever stopped me from giving my opinion), but gold is very heavy. Do you know how big the footers would have to be to support a city wall made of gold? Me either, but I bet it would be ginormous, and not at all feasible. Coronado's quest has a modern parallel. It's not unlike dragging bunches of soldiers across Iraq looking for weapons of mass destruction, except that time the huts were made of stone, but the results were eerily similar. My advice to people who are inclined to go off on epic quests is the same as Homer Simpson gave to Bart, "If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing."

I hope an animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs there because I might think I have a good idea but its really just the eggs hatching. (Jack Handey)

Sobering Thoughts

2011-09-21T13:47:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine lost her husband very unexpectedly in the last year. I have admired her courage and strength to pick up the pieces and try to move forward, if not for her, but for their children. Through it all she has had some humorous moments that help make the less-than humorous moments doable.

Watching her handle the paperwork fiasco of death certificates, banks, and insurance makes me sad and a bit apprehensive. Are we prepared? Do we have the coverage we need? Do we even know where the paperwork is if we are suddenly in her shoes? Do we have enough term life insurance either through work or privately?

I've decided to put together a box. Let's call it the "death box". I want all our paperwork, information, etc. in one spot for whoever is left. I think I will put in banking information (since ours are separate), bill information (someone has to still pay), and maybe even our wishes for the funeral.

Now to have this conversation with the hubby.

Gettin' Crafty

2011-09-21T11:47:00.000-04:00

I blame it on Pinterest.

I was living life just as lazy as I could when all of a sudden I have the urge to create, paint, and yes, even sew. There surely is a 12 step program for this.

I am actually mid-way through one project that I share with you upon completion. But lately I seem drawn to holiday decorating projects - mainly Christmas holiday decorating. Eeek!

Don't you just love these?

Confused

2011-09-15T17:16:00.000-04:00

Didn't they stop making Hummers? I thought they went away with Saturns, Saabs, Oldsmobiles and Pontiacs during the automobile economic chernobyl?

So why do I get emails advertising hummer custom floor mats?

Never mind. Stupid question. I also get emails for the perfect weight loss pill, penis enlargements, and prescription drugs from Canada.

Why don't the penis enlargements come from Canada?

Just askin'.

Arrrgghhh!

2011-09-15T15:12:00.000-04:00

My cell phone is dieing. I think if they make you sign a 2-year agreement, you should get a phone that lasts 2 years.

I even bought a new battery, but it never lasts more than 24 hours (without any phone calls being made) on one charge. If someone sends me a multi-media text (I wish they would STOP DOING THAT), it is gone immediately.

Maybe I need one of those wilson cell booster thingies? Or just a new phone.

Adult Popsicles

2011-09-15T13:09:00.002-04:00

Don't these just look lovely?

And sound easy to make.

I want to make some. I am thinking pineapple basil.

Christmas Shopping

2011-09-15T12:15:00.001-04:00

Before you say anything, no, I haven't started yet. I can't get my head around that until at least after Halloween. But I was thinking about a few people on that list the other day and had a good idea. I immediately wrote it down because when the time does come, I will not have remembered it at all. Because, you see, I am senile.

So come shopping time, I will see that so and so likes to smoke a avo cigar. Go buy some. Now.

If only I could do that for say household chores. Go sweep. Now.

No.

New Addiction

2011-09-15T12:08:00.001-04:00

If you haven't discovered Pinterest yet. I have to ask - why not?

You can find great DIY projects like this:

or delicious looking recipes like this:

You have to be invited to make your own boards and save things, so if you want an invite - just ask.

Warning: I feel it is only fair to warn you, it is very addictive.

Money Trees

2011-09-12T16:53:00.000-04:00

I confess. I have depended on credit in some form or another most of my life. But I am still saddened and surprised by the thoughtless efforts people put in to getting cash. "Cash" today stores show up on every street corner like lemonade stands of the 50's and pawn shops are beyond popular, they are now glorified on television shows. Did you know you can now basically "pawn" your car title for cash?

If you were in dire straits,various states allow you to apply for car title loans New Jersey being one. Well, I guess they don't really care if you are in dire straits. I just wish people gave more thought to their actions of today - money-wise and other. Myself included.

Homicidal Maniacs, Richard Nixon, and Other Upstanding Folk

2011-09-12T14:50:00.000-04:00

More musings from my genius friend:

On this day in 1974 Gerald Ford pardons Richard Nixon for crimes he may have committed during his time in office. Good Trivial Pursuit question: Gerald Ford is the only person to have served as both Vice President and President without having been elected to either office. He was appointed VP after Spiro Agnew was forced to resign in disgrace for income tax evasion and political corruption. Ford became President upon the resignation of Nixon, who was forced to resign in disgrace for his involvement in the Watergate scandal. Lots of scandals and disgrace back in the early 1970’s. I’m glad the current generation of politicians are honorable, trustworthy, loyal folk who put their concern for America and her citizens ahead of their own agenda. Speaking of concern for America, Ford’s pardoning of Nixon was an act of political suicide. In 2001, the Kennedy Library Foundation awarded Ford its Profile in Courage Award for pardoning Nixon. The Foundation said Ford placed his love of country ahead of his own political future and brought needed closure to the divisive Watergate affair. Ford left politics after losing the 1976 presidential election to Democrat Jimmy Carter. Ford died on December 26, 2006, at the age of 93.

“You say homicidal maniac; I say aggressive go getter. Tomato/tomatoh.”

Not a Sprint Race

2011-09-12T14:46:00.000-04:00

So it has been awhile since I mentioned those three words.....weight loss pills.

As much as we'd all like to find a magic pill, in the end we know what it takes. My husband has been so disciplined lately. He walks the dogs twice a day (1 mile each time) and rarely chooses sweets as a snack.

I guess that shows you that it is little changes we can make that help make the marathon worth running.

Training Schmaining

2011-09-12T14:43:00.000-04:00

I sat through a training at work today for webinar/conference call equipment. Can we all say "boring"?

I did wonder though if we ran real meetings in the orderly fashion we run webinars and conference calls - would they be more productive?

The coolest feature was the "Mute All" button. Wouldn't you just die for one of those in a live meeting? When people start talking over each other and get louder and louder....you just press "Mute All" and they go silent. Still animated, but silent.

Puppy Photos

2011-09-09T14:04:00.000-04:00

I've shared many photos of our dogs with you over the years. My husband's photographic skills continue to amaze me, especially where the dogs are concerned. We have had many of his photos made into portraits and he even donated one to a fundraisers our rescue organization held and it raised good cash in the silent auction.

I convinced him to let me showcase them all in one place. That is how Puppy Pixels was born.

Visit frequently. You will always leave happier. Puppies have that affect.

Witty Friends

2011-08-31T15:55:00.000-04:00

On this day in 325, the Council of Nicaea concluded with the establishment of the Holy Trinity. You know, that whole Nicene Creed thing1. Let me disabuse you of any notion you may have that this creed was unanimously approved. Quite the contrary. Like any good council, this one was convened because of a crisis in the early church. Arius, an Alexandrian priest, questioned the full divinity of Christ because, unlike God, Christ was born and had a beginning. Other groups with more power disagreed with Arius, and their side was ultimately successful. So basically the Nicene Creed is faith defined by a committee. No big tent for this belief, no siree Bob. Believe it and you’re “in”, don’t believe it and you’re “out”, and by out, they meant really out Over the years, other controversies arose as to whether or not the Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father only or from both the Father and Son, finally contributing to the Great Schism between the Eastern Orthodox and Roman Catholic churches around 1054. Not surprisingly, I’ve always liked knowing what the heretics had to say on just about any issue of faith. Maybe it’s part of my predisposition to root for the underdog or my quest to subvert the dominant paradigm (which are just a lot of foo-foo words to say I kind of enjoy being a contrary curmudgeon). Quite often I find more resonance with the voices of the heretics. Over the years, and with gracious pastoral support, I’ve learned to love the questions. Like plenty of others, I’ve learned that you can confidently consider yourself a Christian and do the work God calls us to do whether or not you know for sure how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.

Don’t forget National Payroll week, September 5-9. Remember, America works because payroll professionals are working for America. Have you hugged a payroll professional today?

Daily Thought: Some people dream of success. Other people live to crush those dreams.

Position of Power

2011-08-31T13:46:00.000-04:00

I wish once in my life I had a job that wielded power. I don't mean that demonic or hateful, just wish I had the opportunity to make some changes. I also don't mean a job like the CEO of AT&T where you are the first one that gets sacked when the stocks go down. That is much more of an ego job. I want a job that gives me the flexibility to change people's lives, even for a moment.

For example, a job with an airline where I can randomly choose who gets upgraded to first class for no reason. It is such a surprise when that happens. Or maybe Room Director Jobs where when you check in they put you in the Presidential Suite because it is available and you have been nice. What a surprise!

It reminds me of that movie "It Could Happen to You", where the cop and the waitress take their lottery winnings and do fun, surprising things for people like free subway tokens and rent Yankee stadium for the little leaguers.

Fantasy Island - maybe that is really what I want.

Foreign Territory

2011-08-30T13:44:00.000-04:00

When I was a kid, I rode my bike all the time. I swear there were days I ate lunch riding my bike in the summer. It was the first thing I thought about doing when I got up and only came home at dusk because my mother was hollering for me down the street. Her favorite phrase was "homeward bound". Hee, hee. That made me warm and fuzzy inside to remember that.

I never wore a helmet riding my bike. I am not saying it is wrong to, just saying I lived without it. No one in my generation did. Of course, we didn't use seat belts either. Not saying either was the wisest choice.

I have to buy a gift and on my list are equestrian helmets. I could probably pick out a bicycle helmet, but I am lost in this world. Any advice?

Cleaning House

2011-08-21T10:27:00.000-04:00

Posted more stuff on eBay. This stuff has got to go. Great deals. Check them out.

Friends with no fear

2011-08-04T15:46:00.000-04:00

I made this for my friend, Jessica. She actually wore it. Now that is "____ to the walls" fearless.

Someday I'll tell you the story behind it, but for now just know it was funny.

We love funny t shirts. My husband and I are always saying "oh that should be on a shirt". If I were a smart individual, I would write down the funny sayings that prompt that statement. Oh well.

Dirt and Prozac

2011-07-18T11:24:00.000-04:00

From the genius brain of my colleague and friend:

On this day in 4 billion BC (give or take 100 million years or so), dirt was created. Dirt takes a while to accumulate enough for it to support life, so it wasn’t like “boom” there you have it, a freshly sodded lawn. The microbes responsible for the creation and care of dirt are very smart and efficient, but very tiny, so it took them a while. Did you know that the microbes in dirt could also help people suffering from depression? Evidently dirt microbes in your body cause more activity in serotonin-producing neurons and higher levels of serotonin in several areas of the brain. The microbes have the exact same effect as antidepressant drugs such as Prozac or Zoloft. OK, this could explain why I have had some bouts of depression over the years. I am compulsive about my desire to not touch dirt or go outdoors off of a sidewalk if there is any way I can possibly avoid it. I guess I’ll just have to go roll in the dirt the next time I’m feeling blue.

While we’re on the subject of dirt, there are some really fascinating creation myths that involve dirt, including this Yoruban creation story. The Yoruba people are an ethnic group in Western Africa. According to Yoruba mythology, the first Yoruba kings were the offspring of the creator, Oduduwa (oh-doo-DOO-wah). A Yoruba king's crown identifies the status of its wearer and gives the king the power to interact with the spirit world in order to benefit his people. A veil, a large face, and a group of birds are commonly appear on a Yoruba king's crown.

Long, long ago, Olorun (OH-low-run), the sky god, lowered a great chain from the heavens to the ancient waters. Down this chain climbed Oduduwa, Olorun's son. Oduduwa brought with him a handful of dirt, a special five-toed chicken, and a palm nut. He threw the dirt upon the ancient waters and set the chicken on the dirt. The chicken busily scratched and scattered the dirt until it formed the first dry earth. In the center of this new world, Oduduwa created the magnificent Ife (EE-fay) kingdom. He planted the palm nut, which grew into a proud tree with 16 branches, symbolizing the 16 sons and grandsons of Oduduwa.

Thought for the day: Anyone who says having a child was the best moment of their life has obviously never had two Kit-Kat bars fall out of a vending machine at once.

Investment Opportunities

2011-07-16T16:53:00.000-04:00

With all this eBay posting, I wish there were an easier and faster way to post. When you are selling books or CDs, you can enter bar codes and it finds the info. Not so much for other type of products. The listing process is repetitive when you have as much stuff as I do.

But if I had a barcode scanner and the technology was on eBay - I could scan away and sell away.

And what will I do with an empty closet? Oh the possibilities are endless.

Clearance Sale

2011-07-16T06:49:00.000-04:00

I am cleaning out the closets. My years as Southern Living at Home consultant left me with loads of product because I was my best customer.

I also did a lot of shopping at Crate & Barrel's clearance so I have lots of cute little plates and vases.

So if you are in the market for some brand new, still in box great decorating items and serving ware - check out my eBay page. More will be added until it is all gone.

Size Matters

2011-07-16T01:43:00.000-04:00

It seems like micro-technology keeps making things smaller and smaller. Our mobile phones are getting smaller, our computers are following suit, and compact digital cameras are an understatement.

I'd like to have one small enough to put over my ear like a bluetooth. You could inconspicuously take photos with the touch of your finger. No one would know. Oh the things we could record.

It is a very spy-like idea. Hmmm... maybe I am a Sherlock in training?

Something to Make You Smile

2011-07-15T22:43:00.000-04:00

Flexible and Patient, I am not

2011-07-15T11:57:00.000-04:00

I've never done yoga. I don't imagine I have the patience or flexibility to pull that off.

I have walked on my treadmill every morning this week. And if you know me, you know my mornings are sacred in that I like to sleep as long as I can. Even the dogs are like, "what are you doing up, and what is that horrible noise, and why is the television on so loud (to hear over the treadmill), geez - can't a dog get some sleep".

Because you know they don't sleep all day at all - cough cough.

So back to yoga, or not. What is yoga blocks? I saw them advertised and imagined some timed test to stack blocks while balancing on one leg. Say it isn't so.

Stylin'

2011-07-14T23:03:00.000-04:00

I know the decade of the backpack purses have long passed us, but I liked the convenience of having my hands free while shopping. Especially at outdoor markets and craft fairs.
I did find this cute little courier-like bag at Osprey Backpacks. It has the storage features of a backpack and the strap length of a messenger bag. So you can remain hands-free and still feel like your stuff is secure. Insert immediate flashback to the movie Burn After Reading. "I thought you might be worried about the security of your &!#!"

What I Don't Know Won't Hurt Me....I Hope

2011-07-14T11:57:00.000-04:00

We have always had that triple lettered roadside assistance club since we've married. I have never once needed it, but that is a good thing, right?

I made the comment to my husband this weekend about not receiving new cards for awhile. Apparently we haven't had the coverage for over three years. Sigh.

Would have been nice to know, or not. I didn't worry when I didn't know. Now....?

Blueberry Season

2011-07-14T10:02:00.000-04:00

I love fresh blueberries and I love blueberry season. I have been putting blueberries in everything from pancakes to muffins to salad.

Our weekend brunch was a blueberry bran pancakes with lemon cream sauce. Oh, and bacon of course.

I managed to get one shot before he dove in.

Plan B and C

2011-07-13T20:57:00.000-04:00

On the menu for tonight's dinner was chicken empanadas and an avocado, asparagus, orange salad.

So much for best laid plans.

I got home later than I planned and empanadas are a good 1 1/2 hours away with thawing puff pastry, cooking chicken, and then baking the things. Okay, what else can I make?

So I cut the chicken into skewer size chunks, marinated it in some spanish spices, i.e. cumin, coriander, paprika, garlic and oregano. While it was marinated and grill was heating up, I shaved the asparagus, mixed it with tomatoes, red onions, orange segments, and avocados. What a beautiful salad!

Then I took mayonnaise, fresh parsley and some capers and pureed them for a dipping sauce for the chicken. Worth licking the spoon on that one.

So I go to put the chicken on the grill and we are out of propane. Aaaah!

Back in and switch out the cooktop the grill and start heating it up.

In the end, we finally had dinner and it tasted good, but maybe empanadas would have been easier.

Banana Balls

2011-07-13T09:55:00.000-04:00

Hee hee, I said balls.

Yes, I am a 12 year old boy.

These were very yummy and great to transport to a party. Nilla wafers, bananas and cream cheese mixed together and rolled into balls. Freeze. Dip into white chocolate and top with chopped pecans and drizzle with chocolate.

I brought home an empty plate.

PB&J

2011-07-12T21:54:00.000-04:00

Can't beat it, ever.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Cheesecakes! Mini Cheesecakes!

Yummy!

Bloomsday Musings

2011-07-10T10:47:00.000-04:00

More musings from my genius friend.

Happy Bloomsday to all you James Joyce fans. As you’re no doubt aware, the entire book Ulysses takes place on one day, June 16, 1904 (which coincidentally is the day that Joyce met his future wife, Nora). The protagonist of the novel is Leopold Bloom. Each year, rabid Joyce fans celebrate the day by commemorating events from the novel. Being the good Irish folk they are, for some people the day involves drinking a fair amount of Guinness. You are, by now, acutely aware that I am, to put it delicately, loquacious, verbose, wordy, rambling, long-winded, talkative—just your run-of-the-mill Chatty Cathy; however, I’m not sure I could draw one day out into 500+ pages containing 265,000 words. Have I read Ulysses? Of course not. Trivial matters like that would never prevent me from pontificating on subjects I know nothing about. In the interest of full disclosure, I learned about 90% of what I know about Bloomsday from an episode of The Simpsons entitled In the Name of the Grandfather. In that episode, the family takes a trip to Dublin so Grandpa Simpson can relive the greatest night of his life spent at O’Flanagan’s Pub. I am like a sponge. I yearn for knowledge, and I’m none too picky about where I get it.

Daily affirmation: If life gives you melons, you may have dyslexia.

Sounds of Lunch

2011-07-09T15:03:00.000-04:00

Crunch...munch....oh this is good....mmmm...salty...sweet...savory....gooood...hmmm.

That is pretty much the sounds coming from the two of us as we devoured lunch today. I made flatbread with bacon jam, goat cheese, roasted red peppers, fresh cherry tomatoes, fresh basil and some drizzle of balsamic vinegar. Yes, it was that good.

I smeared the goat cheese on the warm flatbreads so it made a nice saucey texture, then topped with the bacon jam, peppers and fresh tomatoes. After baking I sprinkled freshly chopped basil and drizzled balsamic vinegar. Oh, oh, oh.

This will be a repeater for sure.

Friends, Prepare to laugh

2011-07-08T09:31:00.000-04:00

If you are like me, that means go to the bathroom first. I have found my new favorite blogger. Read and be amused.

And that’s why you should learn to pick your battles.
This morning I had a fight with Victor about towels. I can’t tell you the details because it wasn’t interesting enough to document at the time, but it was basically me telling Victor I needed to buy new bath towels, and Victor insisting that I NOT buy towels because I “just bought new towels“. Then I pointed out that the last towels I’d bought were hot pink beach towels, and he was all “EXACTLY” and then I hit my head against the wall for an hour. Read more.

You are welcome.

Everything is coming up...strawberries

2011-07-07T10:32:00.000-04:00

Strawberries are my favorite fruit of all time. My mother always had a huge strawberry patch and would freeze quarts of strawberries for winter consumption - my consumption mostly. I would take a quart of frozen strawberries, sprinkle some sugar on top and eat away. Yes, still frozen. I love them!

So when I was planning what to take to a 4th of July picnic, you know I thought of strawberries. I love strawberry shortcake, but it doesn't transport well to an outdoor event. So I decided to create a strawberry shortcake cupcake. I didn't stutter, you read right.

I took a basic fruit bread recipe and replaced the fruit with macerated strawberries. I also added a little cream and extra egg. After filling the cupcake liners, I sprinkled some large decorating sugar crystals on top to add that crunch that shortcake gets after baking.

To top my little gems, I made a basic cream cheese frosting and added some reserved strawberry syrup for flavor and some pinkness. Again I topped the icing with some sugar crystals and then some sliced strawberries.

If I don't say so myself, they were great. One very appreciative young man at the picnic said, "these should be on the menu at Gigi's". Wow.

I like to party

2011-07-07T09:47:00.001-04:00

Not surprised, are you? But I like to have parties as well. Everything from full on 7-course dinner parties to karaoke shindigs with beer and pretzels (though I don't drink beer and I make my own pretzels). I even like bridal showers, ladies poker parties (must schedule that), and fru fru baby showers. I like the theme of them. It drives the food, the decorations...the feel of the party.

I was browsing the Internet the other day and found a cool invitation site. I wish someone I knew was having a baby so I could order baby announcements from invitationbox.com. Someone needs to get pregnant - besides me, of course.

I'm on a roll

2011-07-06T10:21:00.000-04:00

After my adventures into Bacon Jam, my mind went down a dark path. What other ingredients could I turn into a savory condiment of love?

Shallot Jam!

Sautee four large shallots in olive oil until translucent over med-low. Add 1/3 c. brown sugar and 3/4 c. balsamic vinegar. Simmer until thick and lovely.

I topped toasted crostinis with this and added goat cheese and candied pecans. Yes, it was that good.

Makin' Bacon...Jam, that is

2011-07-06T00:19:00.000-04:00

Yes, you heard me right. Bacon Jam. How good does that sound just rolling off the tongue? Say it with me slowly....baaacooon jaaammmmm. It is kind of like yoga. I recommend saying it three times each morning in lieu of meditation. I recommend eating as much as you can get your hands on.

Let's start at the beginning. I spent three days in Indianapolis at a work gathering. My diet consisted of hotel banquet food [insert spitting sound here], hotel bar food and well, liquor. So immediately on my return, my husband and I went out to eat. My requirements: no bar food. Where did we go? AP Crafters. Yes, that would be a pub-like restaurant. However, the food was so not what I had been eating all weekend.

When I saw Bacon Bruschetta on the menu, the deal was done. Described as "bacon jam, caramelized onion, brie, arugula, candied walnuts, pear tomato on crostini", it did not fail to deliver. I was immediately in love and obsessed with replicating. I asked the manager when he came around what exactly bacon jam was and he leaned to talk low so no one else could hear him tell me their deep dark secrets, and said "rendered quality bacon and our secret spices, cooked down to a jam". WTF? Why bother to whisper? You told me nothing I didn't already know.

So once home I still could not get the taste of that wonderful manna out of my mouth or mind. On to Google for research. Apparently there is product you can buy but you know me better than that. After researching several sites recipes, none the same, I took what I liked and what I thought I tasted in the restaurant's version and voila!

It takes time, but the good news is it makes a good amount. After knowing the recipe works, I will be making this as gifts in the future (hint, hint). Here is my recipe:

1 pound bacon - the best bacon you get your hands on, smokier the better
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 medium yellow onion sliced
3 tablespoons brown sugar
2 drops of hot sauce (I am a wienie)
3/4 cup coffee
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup maple syrup
2 drops of liquid smoke (if you can't find smoked bacon)
Black pepper to taste
extra water, if needed

Cut bacon into 1 inch pieces and fry the bacon in batches until lightly browned and beginning to crisp.

Next, saute the onion and garlic in the rendered bacon fat on medium heat until translucent. Drain the majority of the bacon grease, leaving about 2 T. But don't toss the rest - oh god no. Save it for future uses.

Add the rest of the ingredients, except for the water. Simmer for 2 hours or so until reduced. Add 1/4 of a cup of water, if needed to keep from burning. Stir.

When ready, cool for about 15-20 minutes and then place in a food processor. Pulse for 2-3 seconds so that you leave some texture to the “jam”.

Now comes the best part - eat it and enjoy.

Useless Presidential Trivia

2011-06-28T22:27:00.014-04:00

More musings from the master:

On this day in 1886, President Grover Cleveland marries in the white house. His wife Frances was 27 years younger than him. Frances’s father had been Cleveland’s law partner. Cleveland had been her legal ward, administering her late father’s estate on her behalf since she was 11 years old. He had known her literally all of her life. There was some speculation that Cleveland might, perhaps, marry Frances’s mother, but he surprised his friends when he married Frances as soon as she turned 21. Frances remains the youngest First Lady in American history.

Grover Cleveland is the only person to have served two non-consecutive terms as president. He was our 22^nd and 24^th president. Upon leaving the White House at the end of her husband's first term, Frances is reported to have told the staff to take care of the building since the Clevelands would be returning in four years. A prophetess? You must judge that for yourself.

Did you know that the Curtiss Candy Company claims that the candy bar Baby Ruth was named after the Cleveland’s first daughter, Ruth? It’s probably not true. The candy bar’s name was changed from Kandy Kake to Baby Ruth in 1921, which was 30 years after Cleveland left the White House and 17 years after Ruth’s death. It’s more likely that it is named after Babe Ruth, who was nearing the zenith of his popularity around the same time. The more plausible scenario is that the candy company didn’t want to pay royalties to Babe, so they made up a bogus story about the origins of the candy bar’s name. I simply adore scandals, conspiracy, and corporate espionage, so you know I find all this riveting.

Daily Affirmation: When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there’s no end to what you can’t do.

Picky

2011-06-28T11:45:00.000-04:00

Yes, I am picky. At least about some things. I like Charmin toilet paper. I like Heinz Ketchup. I like Yoplait yogurt. I like Tropicana - not from concentrate - orange juice. How about you? Are there brands you are loyal to?

I feel the same way about my cell phone. My favorite was my Motorola Razr, pink of course. I wish they had not discontinued it. I liked the way it felt, sounded and worked with my Blue Tooth. I also loved the motorola case, it was solid. I am on my third cell phone since the Motorola, but I will never like one as much.

I love to laugh

2011-06-20T23:48:00.000-04:00

And without my coworker and best friend, I would do very little of it. Let me share....

On this day in 1897, writer Oscar Wilde is released from jail after two years of hard labor for homosexual crimes. Prior to his arrest Wilde had become a popular society figure valued at dinner parties for his witty remarks. Embracing the late 19th century aesthetic movement, which embraced art for art's sake, Wilde adopted the flamboyant style of a passionate poet and self-published a volume of verse in 1881. He spent the following year in the United States lecturing on poetry and art. Wilde's dapper wardrobe and excessive devotion to art were parodied in Gilbert and Sullivan's operetta Patience in 1882.

You know, I’ve been polishing my witty remarks (some might say acerbic or bitter), and I pour out my best effort in time entry reminders every two weeks (which is sort of like self-published verse), but so far the dinner party offers are just barely trickling in. I guess I'm just not a flamboyant enough dresser; however, as my body mass index gets less favorable, those big caftans in wildly garish colors are starting to look pretty comfortable, and I think a turban would help hide my frequent bad hair days.

Daily affirmation: The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.

Folded

2011-06-15T13:33:00.000-04:00

For years I have been an HP printer fan. When I wanted a wide-format printer (prints larger than 8 1/2" wide), I stayed with HP. I was a loyalist.

However, after fighting it for the past four years every time I wanted to print paper thicker than standard - I finally gave up and bit the bullet.

I bought an Epson wide-format printer. It operates on the CMYK color system, so instead of taking one ink cartridge, it lets you replace just the color that is out. Makes perfect sense to me.

I am glad I gave in, but now what to do with all my hp printers ink cartridges...

Did you watch the Tony's?

2011-06-14T10:32:00.000-04:00

I only caught the ending, but apparently I missed the best part. This is the best opening I've ever seen.

Gadget Queen

2011-06-14T09:32:00.000-04:00

My husband calls me a gadget queen, basically because of the kitchen gadgets I have. But over the past few years that has also included the technical gadgets I prefer to use, i.e. Blackberry, iPod, Kindle, etc.

The irony is he is the software computer genius. But he has no desire for the latest and greatest. Maybe it reminds him too much of work.

But remember when just having a computer - a huge, honking PC - was the latest? Then we went real new age and got a scanner (gasp!). The idea of document scanning at all, let alone in the home was impressive.

We've come a long way baby.

Snug as a Bug

2011-06-14T09:27:00.000-04:00

Because she insisted on getting in the mud at the park, she had to get a bath when we got home.

Apparently she was cold.

Remember when?

2011-06-03T12:02:00.000-04:00

I was sitting at a stop light the other day near a school and was watching kids play on the school equipment on the playground. Things have changed folks. What happened to the long metal slides? Now there are bright multi-colored plastic forts. What happened to the teeter totters? Wow, remember the pain on your bottom when some smart-a** jumped off and let you fall? What happened to the merry-go-round? You could get enough speed going someone could get whipped off.

I guess the fear has overrode the fun.

Deja Vous

2011-05-28T13:42:00.001-04:00

I know I talk a lot about my skin care and acne remedies. Sorry if I bore you, Joe.

This time it is just about make-up. I've been experimenting with different liquid/cream foundation. I haven't found one that just knocks my socks off. What do you wear? Why do you like it?

I used to like one called Cashmere, I think it was a Cover Girl product. I liked the way it felt on my skin - soft and light.

But like most things that I like, they discontinued it. It is now on that shelf of products I like and can't get. Right next to the Jergens Shower Lotion, Sure Clear-Gel Deodorant, and Rosemary Sea Salt Lay's Kettle Chips.

Rant done now.

Party in Pictures

2011-05-27T22:42:00.000-04:00

I'll admit it. I am not good at photographing our parties. I get too involved and next thing I know, it is over.

However, at our recent inaugural Derby Party, I did manage to get a few photos before it started.

Benedictine Dip and Crudites

It is "Run for the Roses" after all.

Margaritas!

Cherry Lime Tequila/Rum Jello Shots!

Fruit Salad

Alter-Egos

2011-05-22T12:25:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I feel like a schizophrenic with multiple personalities. My day job of employee communications in a religious atmosphere mixed with my freelance writing for taxonomy, indexing, and document management software combined with my real passion of food, cooking, and entertaining.

What hat I am wearing at any given time is beyond me. We went away this weekend for the first time in literally "I can't remember when". It was so nice to be "off". We boarded our dogs for the first time in four+ years just to go 45 miles away for the weekend - but I went without a computer. This is major.

We need to do that more often. It was lovely.

A New Business Idea

2011-05-05T10:38:00.000-04:00

Yes, I've thought of another one. How about a personal event chef? This would be different from catering. This would be strictly preparing special meals for two. No weddings, no parties. Just special dinners with special food.

I love making gourmet birthday for him or preparing special dinner parties. Who wouldn't want the same thing? I should offer it to friends and see what happens. Any volunteers?

Cause you just can't get enough

2011-05-05T01:32:00.002-04:00

Bumps

2011-05-04T22:39:00.001-04:00

So I have been told I talk about adult acne more than the average person. Sorry Joe. I am about to do it again.

I don't need to know how to get rid of blackheads on nose or anything exteme like that, I am just tired of those bumps that never really turn into a pimple, but are noticeably annoying. Maybe it isn't even acne, maybe it is a reaction to my makeup. Who knows?

Snuggle Buddy

2011-05-04T22:31:00.000-04:00

The husband may kill me if he finds out I posted this, but the odds of him actually reading my blog is pretty slim.

Aren't they cute?

Peeking Through The Windows

2011-04-29T18:41:00.000-04:00

We set up a web cam awhile back to watch the dogs during the day. Mainly Bear, since he is having seizures again.

It has made me want to do the same thing outside. I'd like to see what the neighbors are up to, the mailman, etc. Maybe I could even see our ghost?

Can you set up remote security cameras that you can watch from work? That would be cool.

A New Business?

2011-04-29T18:38:00.000-04:00

We've been dogsitting a lot lately, more than normal. We always tell the people who adopt our fosters that we would love to dogsit when they go on vacation, etc. as it is always nice to get to visit them again.

Maybe we better quit that, or maybe we need to open a dog kennel.

Our very first foster dog, Oscar #1, as we like to call him. Since we have our own Oscar now. He is coming to stay with us for two months this summer. They are building a new home and it will be ready in August, but their house sold fast so they are staying with family who has no fencing.

Should be a fun summer.

Entreprenuer in the House

2011-04-28T16:47:00.001-04:00

If I were Target, WalMart or any retail store, I would have the largest variety of wellies or rain boots on display right as you walk in the door. Seriously, Louisville has had over 8 inches of rain in the past three days, not to mention the foot or so before that. The Ohio River is so far out of its banks, it has to email home.

A colleague of mine wore a really cute pair yesterday and it prompted me to start looking for them at Target last night. No luck. By accident, I found them in the gardening section and only because that was one aisle over from the pet section I was already in. They only had three solid colors but they were cute. Put them at the front and I guarantee you they would be gone in a day. Trust me, I didn't get my online business degrees for nothing. You laugh, but I did get online business degrees.

Now I am off to find cute pink and green rain boots.

Great Idea

2011-04-28T16:40:00.000-04:00

I went to a baby shower today for a colleague and they did a really cool thing, that was new to me at least.

On the gift table was a basket of empty envelopes and a pen. You were asked to complete one with your name and address to make the process of sending thank you cards easier for the new mom and dad. Hello? Fantastic idea.

They should do this for weddings too.

Or maybe include the directions in the baby shower invitations when they are sent out so your gift just includes a self-addressed, stamped envelope?

More and More

2011-04-28T16:35:00.000-04:00

Sometimes it is these musings and these musings only that get me through the week.

Henry Ford died on this day in 1947, so I could do a rant about the soul-sucking tedium that he created when he dreamt up the idea of the modern assembly line, but I’m just not in the mood to put my heart into a really articulate rant this morning. I do so hate being wishy-washy about my opinions, and you deserve my very best.

Then I noticed that in 1348 King Charles of Bohemia issued a Golden Bull to establish Charles University in Prague, the first university in Central Europe. My first thought was, ‘Lord have mercy, what an ego, naming a university after yourself’ (while making a mental note that, should I ever become fabulously wealthy, it might be fun). Then I realized I wasn’t really sure what a Golden Bull was, and lots of odd barnyard thoughts ran through my mind, like mental images of poor old Bessie being dipped in bronze (although then I suppose it would have been a golden heifer).

Then I remembered an odd historical tidbit I read the other day about a Puritan fellow who was executed for his excessive love of farm animals, and that reminded me of the line in the movie, The Truth About Cats and Dogs, “you should love your animals, but not love your animals”. The synapses of my brain are well connected, it’s just that they don’t always meet up where they are of any use to anyone. And let me make a pledge to you here and now that I will do my very best to never mention bestiality in a time entry reminder ever again. This is my new low point, I’m sorry you had to see it. I blame it on Spring fever. The sun is shining, the temperatures are pleasant, the tulips are blooming, and I’d rather be sitting on my porch swing reading a good book than sitting in an office which seems absolutely dreary by comparison.

Useless trivia: Did you know that grocery shoppers spend an average of 8 minutes waiting in line at the supermarket? If only. I typically end up behind someone who just fell off the turnip truck using the debit card doohickey for the first time, or the cash register explodes, or the clerk goes on break or dies.

Laundry Workout

2011-04-27T22:48:00.006-04:00

Does anyone consider laundry to be a physical workout? I am not being a wimp, but carrying baskets of laundry up two flights of stairs wears my butt out. I don't profess to be in great shape but you shouldn't have to be queen of personal trainer certification programs to keep your clothes washed and dried.

We have a laundry chute, but it is down only. They should create a combination of dumb waiter and laundry chute to have it come back up. Seems like a no brainer to me.

More Co-Worker Musings

2011-04-27T21:58:00.000-04:00

I feel so privileged to call the creative person behind these posts my friend. Enjoy.

In honor of the Easter holiday, I’d like to risk being a bitter disappointment and fore go my usual fractured history lesson. I’d like to share one of my all-time favorite Easter jokes:

Three dimwits died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first dimwit, "What is Easter?" He replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful..." "Wrong!," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second dimwit the same question, "What is Easter?" The second one replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."

St. Peter looks at the second dimwit, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third dimwit and asks, "What is Easter?" The third dimwit smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously. "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples shared their last supper. Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed by a large boulder."

St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. Then he continues, "Every year the boulder is moved aside so Jesus can come out...and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."

Batten Down The Hatches

2011-04-27T21:46:00.000-04:00

I was at Target and yes, that is pronounced Tarjey, and had to use the ladies room. Do you wonder where this post is going? Hee hee.

After washing my hands I used one of their hand dryers and O.M.G. If you ever wondered how loose your skin was and essentially, how old you are -- use their hand dryer. It blows so hard it looks like ripples on a pond. No wait, boulders in a pond.

Laughing is a great stress reliever...

2011-04-22T21:28:00.001-04:00

Laugh away, my friends.

A witch went into a beauty parlor and asked the assistant how much it would cost to make her look like a film star. "Nothing," replied the assistant. "Nothing?" she asked, "but how can I look like a film star?" "Haven't you seen a film called The Creature from the Black Lagoon?" replied the assistant.

-------

What is the pink stuff between elephant's toes? Slow clowns.

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Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus."

True love

2011-04-22T21:16:00.000-04:00

Hilarious and oh so true.

Float On

2011-04-22T21:10:00.000-04:00

We got more rain today and there is more planned for the next few days. I know it is spring, but geez - enough is enough.

I'm sure River Road will be closed on my way to work Monday. Heck, it is probably closed now.

I stopped at the post office on my way to work yesterday and one of the local residents was sharing a tale of Tuesday night's storm. Apparently some boats got loosened from the dock by the storm. They were apparently floating around the river on their own. He said they called the Coast Guard. It was at this point I realized we had a Coast Guard. I guess it makes sense, but I always think of actual coasts when I think of the Coast Guard.

Nice to know in case I ever have some water emergency or Maritime injury, we can call the Coast Guard in Louisville, Kentucky. Hee hee, that makes me laugh.

Dinner Party Time

2011-04-21T23:47:00.001-04:00

I always think I am going to have these more often, but they seem to only come around once, maybe twice a year. Why? I have no clue. Time, I suppose.

I like to take advantage of these events to challenge my culinary norms and try new things. This weekend is no different.

The menu (as of now):

Springria (my own creation)

Trio of Appetizers: Bacon Wrapped Chorizo Stuffed Dates, BBQ Shrimp & Cheese Grits spoons, & Pancetta Wrapped Peaches w/Balsamic Glaze

Avocado Pineapple Salad

Asian Glazed Braised Short Ribs
Prosciutto Mashed Potatoes
Grilled Asparagus
Golden Yeast Rolls

Chocolate Tuxedo Cake

I promise, once again, to try and take photos.

Is it gauche?

2011-04-21T21:10:00.000-04:00

And I don't mean those tacky looking not-pants, not-skirts things they wore in the 70's.

I am referring to ceiling fans. It seems like in all the home decorating shows they always take them down and make fun of them. Only to put up a gorgeous chandelier, of course.

I don't know what we would without ours. We are way too warm-natured.

How about you? Gauche or not?

I'm in Love with a Woman

2011-04-21T20:33:00.001-04:00

No, I haven't switched teams, but I love this woman. I love her voice. I love her look. I love her talent. I am totally enamored of Adele.

The things I worry about...

2011-04-21T19:23:00.000-04:00

The term "click" has become part of our every day vernacular. Click click click! But what did click mean to us 25 years ago? Heck, 15 years ago?

I think of clicking my tongue, Dorothy clicking her heels to leave Oz, or connecting emotionally with another human being. What about you?

I can't imagine when I was 15 or 20 and someone told me to click here, what in the world would I think?

My New Favorite Tune

2011-04-20T21:00:00.000-04:00

Makes me want to dance...

Truffles, no fungus here

2011-04-18T20:49:00.000-04:00

Remember my Santa Hat pops, or my conversation heart pops? Well they have become quite popular. I recently had an order for 4 dozen round cake pops AND another 3 dozen assorted cake truffles. I got to be a little creative on the cake truffles.

The Plan

2011-04-18T20:24:00.000-04:00

I have decided to make a change. One I need to do for a variety of reasons, but the top one being so that I will feel better. The hubs and I have had this discussion numerous times and he is able to do better with subtle life changes, i.e. water instead of soda, walking the dogs more, etc.

Me? I need a plan. I need a major life altering, schedule changing plan.

Don't get me wrong, I won't be doing anything too drastic. No marathon training, no Jenny Craig, no adapexin-p, MRC or R2D2.

But it needs to be something that shakes up my routine and motivates me for permanent change. Wish me luck.